Ok so I know this is going to sound bad but one of my greatest fear is growing old. I just don’t want to and I’m sure that no body really wants to, but I think that I think about it more than most people. Like for example, when I look at older people I just get sad and wonder if they did everything that they wanted to while they were young. I also wonder if they’re happy w/ the path they chose, what made them who they are . I imagine myself old one day rocking in a rocking chair alone and I know that I’d be lonely and scared b/c I feel like eventually kids and family get tired of visiting, friends die and I don’t want to be alone and old… but before I get that old I think of when I get so old that I am no longer attractive. When I look at people sometimes I think well she’s halfway through her life. I should not think this way, I should be happy to get old and spend time w/ my future kids and grandkids and nick the love of my life, but I guess I get sidetracked to reality… but I think in the end, I’m just scared of death. nothingness. darkness. the end.
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=( aww