A decision of a lifetime

I am at the age where I am supposed to decide what I want to do for a career. I could go in some many different ways that could determine my future, I know that I don’t want to do something generic, I want to live a crazy fun and interesting life. I don’t want to be stuck in a nine to five or a dead end waitressing job. I have to figure something out. I’ve thought about porn, but only pic and no hard core, but my boyfriend doesn’t want me to. I don’t know, I just want to live a glamorous life. I always wanted to be an actress, but that’s just so hard to get into. I would model, but I don’t really have the money to get into that and get an agent right now. I, like everyone else want to do something that I love! It’s just hard out in the real world. And when it comes down to it, it’s really over whelming trying to decide the fate of my future. I just want to stay 18 forever, I don’t wanna grow up! I also want to do something in the entertainment business b/c I want there to always be memories of me everywhere while I’m young.

workaholic again :(

I guess I am going to be a workaholic again. I just picked up another job because I need the money so this is what my schedule is going to look like for now:

mon: 10-3:15

tues: 10-3:15

wed off

thurs: 6- 10 or 11

fri: 10-3:15 then 6-close

sat 10-3:15 the 4-close

sun off

sucks, but its not so bad.

I came to the conclusion that I need to make a resume and try to get a real job or I need to get  a website started…

awkward

So I work at a restaurant that a lot of the same people come in several times a week. Anyways, so there is this guy who comes in and he really creeps me out, he’s like in his 30s and acts really weird, plus he’s always telling me about his nights at the titty bar, and to be honest I don’t care if you go to strip clubs, but I don’t really wanna talk about it when I am at work and w/ him. The point of the story is, he always stares at me and looks me up and down all creepy and to the other girls he calls me his girlfriend. Now, I don’t talk to him any different than anyone else. I don’t even really try to talk to him. So today when he was leaving he was like, “bye, queen of my dreams” and I was like “yeah right” but he always calls me things like “teen angel” and I just don’t like him. he’s a creepy old guy and has no business flirting w/ me. I try to kind of rude to him so he’ll stop coming in, but he just keeps on coming back.

Hottest Girl EVER!! to me

To me the hottest girl ever is Megan Fox, you know the super babe from Transformers? Well anyways if I could be w/ any woman in the world, it would be her. She is sheer perfection, from her beautiful eyes to her flat super sexy stomach… She’s so hot! Anyways, just another thought, I just can’t seem to get her out of my thoughts… I mean look at her

When is sexuality not going to be shunned upon?

I was watching a show on vh1 on sexual revolution and it just got me thinking, when is sexuality going to be ok and not wrong?

When are we going to mature? I mean why is it that boobs can’t be shown on tv here in the us but it can in every other country? I think that sexuality should be able to be expressed in whatever way any body wants to, we should be able to live in a manner that makes us happy, as long as it is not physically hurting anyone why is it a problem? Is it a problem b/c you were taught by the “bible” or your parents that it’s wrong? when are people going to think for themselves? The human body is beautiful and remarkable and should not always have to be hidden. After all everyone has a body and private parts, so why is it a big deal? Another thing I hate is when girlfriends get mad at their boyfriends for looking at porn. Look at it this way, wouldn’t you rather him look than touch, no matter what any girl says, a man is not going to be completely satisfied looking at one girl the rest of his life, although you may be in love, he’s gotta look at other girls so he can really appreciate his girlfriend and his love. I also think that prostitution should be legal as long as it is done in good ways, like in Vegas, where there is “whore houses” where the girls stay and they should all be checked and clean. I think you should be able to use whatever you have to make money. If you have a good voice, sing. If you are good at basketball, play. If you have an awesome body, model. If you’re good at sex, be a porn star. This all makes sense. well anyways, this was just one of the many thoughts in my head…

things I did today

woke up, thought to myself, “I don’t wanna get up”

stretched, it felt good

ate cereal, special K whoop whoop

laundry, never fun

took a shower, I also shaved my legs that should make the boyfriend happy

got dressed, changed 2x

went to the post office, mailin it up! spent $4.64

returned my library book, that I didn’t read

came home

made a sandwich, tasty

watched tv and wrote in this blog

took a picture of my face, updated my facebook and myspace

called my boyfriend, he’s working late

talked to my mom

ate and apple, I love my apple corer

corer is a funny looking word

took the hem out of some jeans, to make them longer b/c I’m tall

talked to my mom some more

looked at my blogs some more

called my friend B_______, she’s getting shrooms tonight, lame!

at 2 tacos, they were beef, even though my favorite is chicken

and well, that brings me to where I am now, bored w/ nothing to do

_______________________________________________________________

this is where I will write things that I think will happen tonight:

pick up my little brother and his girlfriend, he lives almost exactly 9 miles away

get gas, at quick Trip b/c it’s my favorite. I’m gonna stop at the one in Buford b/c it’s always 2cents cheeper

come home

pick on my brother

write another post

boyfriend will be home around 7 spend time w/ him

the rest is unknown…

well what a day

nothing to do…

I am so bored, this is lame it is friday and I have nothing to do! my friend is on shrooms so I don’t want to hang out w/ her all my other friends are doing stuff w/ their boyfriends, my boyfriend is at work the only highlight of my day today is going to pick up my little brother and his first girl friend… I guess I could entertain myself by picking on him. I hope when my boyfriend gets home we could go see a movie or something. I can’t wait until tomorrow b/c when I get off work, I’m supposed to be going out w/ some of my girlfriends and while I’m out I have to look for a slutty girl to do a porno site for me (just pics, not hardcore) but other than that I don’t have a very eventful weekend. Oh shit, I almost forgot that sun is Mother’s day, I need to go get my mom something, maybe that’s what I’ll do the rest of today

follow up on “I think I’m Crazy”

So Lets see here I guess it took 4 days for us to have sex again. it was good, expecially sense we were just going to go to sleep and I got a surprise! I think our minds run on the same track

The girl in my head

There’s a girl who lives inside my head. She talks to me, yells, at me and even dances. She looks a lot like me, well a cartoon version of me. She has long brown hair, always in a different style, big brown eyes, and is really cute. Anyways, lately she’s just been screaming at me, “Let me out of here, you crazy bitch!!” I tell her that she belongs to me and she has no where else to go for if she were to leave my brain she would automatically die, dissipate, or disappear into thin air. Or once she got out she’d be begging to come back in b/c she’d get too cold and would miss her big warm and comfy bed. She’s usually really cool and fun to get along w/ though, like usually when I listen to music she dances and when I karate chop people she tells me what to do she calms me down when I’m mad and she even talks to me. I don’t know why but lately she’s just been different sense she is being different it effects me, so I’ve been different. Oh mini eyes, (thats not really her name, but if I tell it to you, you might try to steal her) I wish you could just cheer up and be happy again. I’ll make a deal with you, If I promise to cheer up you have to cheer up too! Oh that made her smile, she’s going to get some ice cream now. I think she’ll come back around and so will I we just need to work together. You know Mini your always there for me when I’m lonely or scared or don’t know what to do, sometimes you get me in to trouble, but in the end we work through it and have fun.

I think I’m crazy

I got in a fight w/ my boyfriend last night we came to the conclusion that I am most likely bipolar. or just fucking nuts, either way we almost had make up sex, but I wanted to see if he would initiate. so I’m not initiating sex and I’ll just see how long it takes him to want me bad enough to just take me, b/c then I can be sure that it will be really good. Don’t get me wrong, we have good sex, sometimes its just worth the wait to have awesome passionate sex! I’ll let you know…