Im freaking out… I’m a fuck up I can’t think straight
im a liar
im selfish
or am i? why can’t I just be happy? why is it so damn difficult
i cant make up my mind for anything or anyone
im numb to life and I cant except reality so I create an alternative and just pretend to be happy
what is happiness anyways? do you just know when you are hapy or do you just settle and just except your life as it
when you cat get over something that has happened in the past is it best to just keep trying or to just leave it? should i push forward and try try try or be a chicken and just fucking drop it and try to pretend like everything is ok wat if you open the doors to a new life and dont know how to close them even if everything youve built in the past relys on you closing the doors?
how do you know what you are supposed to be doing with your life if you dont try different things? are you just supposed to know and feel right or will it be lke a huge rush of feelings
when youve been betryed how do you get over it… can you ever
maybe im just not happy with myself so i cant let you be happy with me
im sorry for having you fall in love with me you deserve better than me
but after all this i want you to know that I am far from perfect and i never claimed to be i am human and i freak out… sometimes more than others but im about to erupt and disapear or something
but i dont want you out of my life, i dont want to hurt you anymore and i dont want to destroy you and bring you down im unstable but dont leave my life forever please… i need you your my best friend and
im in a downward spiral and the walls are far to slippery to climb out

ought, I just can’t seem to get her out of my thoughts… I mean look at her